Friday, March 7, 2008

My Spiritual Journey

I have been struggling with my faith as a Mormon for about a year now. Over the past 7 months, I have begun to question not only my beliefs, but whether there really is a God. I feel comfort when I think that God does exist. Yet, I have always struggled with the idea that a loving God allows so many terrible things to happen to innocent people.

I had been reading Rough Stone Rolling and came to the part where Bushman discusses Joseph Smith's revelation(s) on the three degrees of glory. One suggestion that JS made was that in the end everyone will be accept the glory they receive. I told my husband that I did not want to enter the Celestial Kingdom. I would certainly miss my family, but I do not want to be responsible for creating a world or worlds where people victimize one another. He then suggested that perhaps in the Celestial Kingdom, I could choose whether I wanted to create worlds or not.

I can't imagine another religion being better than Mormonism, but I feel lost in it.

1 comment:

Annjilla said...

I found your page from a link at mormon feminist housewives. I feel lost a lot of times. I'm struggling w/ belonging. I've been married 2.5 years now and have a daughter and another on the way. I feel lost 'cause I don't know who I am anymore and certainly can't back to who I was! I just wanted to let you know someone was out there listening to you and agreeing! STop by my page if you'd like! Angela Baillio